God has Blessed me yet again..

Greetings Folks,

I know it's been awhile again since I updated this.. ;) but I have had a lot on my mind lately..and a major portion of that "lot" thats been on my mind is a wonderful, handsome, funny and epically uber christian knight from Wisconsin named Trevor. <3

we met about a month ago, on a free christian dating site..God Bless my ex bf Elijah for sending me the link to it...have to say God has used all the people in my life to Bless me with riches beyond compare..love, wisdom and knowledge among so much more. Now to continue with the story of my man, it all started with a wink I sent him one night..I had gone through several other profiles and messaged/winked at a few others..but didn't feel as serious about them as I did with trevor..I found him later, after narrowing my search results to include simply the keyword "computers" I found his profile and the headline caught my eye ;) it read "dork looking for dorkette" hard to say if it was love at first sight but..it had to be..for I completely forgot all of the other guys who'd winked at me and/or I winked at/messaged. After reading Trey's profile I immediately felt like he was the one God wanted to lead me to..undoubtedly. Well after I sent him a wink..I was going to send a message..but thought to myself..maybe its best to start out subtle first, because the last thing I wanted to do was scare him away hehe..See with me when I'm interested in someone, I feel like I could scare them away and I think I have come onto people to strongly in the past..and ruined any chance of them having a mutual interest in me as well..haha but anyways..i had this other guy who seemed reallyyy desperate...to say the least. He seemed to rely more on worldly relationships then God and well with me if God isnt number one in your heart then sadly you're not right for me. I need a man who can help me stay firm in my footing as I walk down the Lord's path for me..and I wouldnt want someone pulling me away from God, forcing me to be torn between them and Him..it just cant happen. So this guy I tried to let down easy..didnt wanna flat out tell him "no its not gonna happen" but also didnt wanna lead him on God forbidding..so I attempted to give him hope, i told him I needed to get to know him longer etc (fyi this guy winked/messaged me first not I him) at the time I was just looking for friendships that could possibly grow into something more given time. But this guy was soooo persistent..he even played on my conscience..(if i cant be with you I'd rather die) and such ughhh..so prideful. Also wanting me for himself..even admitted he was jealous of God that He was first amd foremost in my heart..*sigh* well that newbie story out of the way, a few days after my initialized "winkage" ;) I got a message back from Trevor titled "wow a lot in common" hehe, and the joy and happiness i felt was immesurable. I was literally jumping for joy when I typed my reply to trey, again tried to avoid spilling my "over enthusiasm" into my message to him haha..so kept it on the down low lol though must say it was very hard. :P waiting for a 2nd reply was even more "excruciating" lol though I don't wanna seem impatient and full of haste ;) I was just lovestruck and still am..The way trevor makes me feel is unlike any other..I get so tongue tied when i talk to him it's not funny to be honest, how much of an effect he has on me, emotionally, spiritually and even physically ;p but I'll leave that hanging.. I have heard true love is the kind that you can feel coming from God through that person..and I feel that with trevor. unlike my previous bfs..This love that comes from him is like that of God, it overpowers your senses..and makes you feel as if you're weightless..and in zero gravity. ^_^ anyways i got his second reply which was his Im info and his myspace/facebook addresses..so from that day forward..we began to talk in yim and msn..slowly getting to know eachother (and as for me slowly starting to fall head over heels in love with him more and more) The time we spent talking we learned so much about one another..good bad and even ugly..and none of it made me love him any less..only made me feel closer to him..especially after discovering we share the same or almost the same struggles spiritually and such and the same temptations and whatnot. But what christian is without struggles? Another thing is I made a choice..and that choice was to love Trevor..no matter what trials, illnesses, tragedies and hardships befall either or both of us..as he chooses to love me regardless as well, which is all i could ever ask of him. One other thing I do know is that God really loves and values me as one of His children...He has shown and blessed me so much in the past few years of being born again, and the wonderful people and miracles I've experienced no matter how small are a testament to that. :-)
I just really feel like and have no doubt in my heart that me and Trevor will make it in our current relationship and in marriage in the future. Right now we are going through a book for couples entitled 100 questions to ask before you say I do, and each night me and Trey are going over one question, so far it's gone great..and we seem to know what it takes to make this work, In addition to the book we also do a nightly devotional..which helps us grow stronger in the Lord and closer to Him as well. :-) I really enjoy being able to do it with him. So long story short I've found the one I wanna love forever, and choose to love forever..to allow God to love Him the best through my heart and everything that I do.

I know that the Lord can help me accomplish that with prayer and faith in Him..and I pray and ask everyone who reads this blog to pray for us and that we have a happy and wonderful marriage in the future, though I have no doubt personally we will :-)

anyways til next update..take care and God Bless everyone..stay tuned!

CC~